There are actually five seasons in France—the traditional four plus “après les vacances” (after the holidays), which is a nebulous period from mid September till late October. Cliff Richard might have sung the original “We’re all going on a Summer Holiday” but the French could sing that particular song with gusto and conviction—provided that the words “for a month or two” had been added.

This summer, France celebrated the 50th anniversary of the paid leave, which increased to 5 weeks after the victory of the socialist president François Mitterand in 1981. The 35-hour workweek added, on average, another three weeks of vacation, bringing it to 8 weeks total.

Summer holidays are sacred. They definitely involve more discussion, planning and disagreements than a wedding (even your own). From May onwards, companies start postponing decisions and actions, including the signing of multi-million euro contracts, till “after the holidays.” From July onwards everything is officially on hold, and heaven forbid if you should run out of paper or need keys cut, shoes shod or dry-cleaning done… And yet, the country that shuts down from late June to early September manages to be the world’s fifth largest economy.

By early September most of the troops are back—but allow at least two weeks for people to ease back into work mode. It will take several weeks to clear the accumulated backlog. Notice how the screensavers have changed to holiday snaps. It’s a busy time for the coiffeurs—everyone needs a haircut for the rentrée. Most annual subscriptions, from karate lessons to theatre tickets, start in September so there is a flurry of cheque-writing and form-filling before work can actually begin.

Just like the infamous “après ski,” there is the “après vacances,” only its not quite as enjoyable: shopping expeditions to replenish the fridge and the pantry become major exercises in armed combat—every isle in Monoprix is jam-packed with Back to School specials. Only the fittest dare tackle the obstacle course to the cheese counter. Schoolchildren look forward to meeting their teachers, called “maîtresses” in French, while their fathers look forward to dining with their maîtresses (mistresses) after summer with their wives.

And its time to buy your diary, since as anyone who has been through the French school system knows, the year begins in September...