Tobacco or Not Tobacco: A professional quitter helps the smokers among us survive the ban

Here we are. January 2008. It is forbidden to smoke in all public places in France, including restaurants, cafés, bars, discos… (We don’t know yet when it will be forbidden to smoke in the street, but probably soon.) Each smoker now is faced with a choice: “Will I resist this new prohibition or will I surrender to the part of myself that wishes to stop?”
It is easy to quit. I’ve done it many times. The hard part is not starting again. And again. But according to those who’ve succeeded, only the first ten years are difficult.
Here are a few words of advice.

Don’t think January 1st is an auspicious date to quit: The amount of alcohol you drank around midnight and/or at lunch the next day makes your decision impractical. Wait until later.

Don’t think that quitting will save you from lung cancer or a heart attack. These nerve-racking thoughts will increase your nicotine cravings.

Never tell your friends and family about your decision. Then you can start again without losing face.

If you do tell, don’t expect admiration in return. Neither your friends nor family will notice the absence of a cigarette between your fingers. It’s extremely irritating and makes you want to start again, just to see their reaction.

If they know you’ve stopped, pretend your bad temper comes from withdrawal. Take advantage by saying and doing things you’ve never even dreamt of. They’ll beg you to start again.

During the first days, you’ll feel like a hero. Don’t rely on that feeling: it won’t last. Soon you’ll feel like a miserable piece of s--t that doesn’t even understand why you made such a stupid decision.

Frustration and nervousness can trigger a certain sexual hyperactivity, which might please your partner. Don’t imagine that your relationship is saved. These feats will last only during time of your heroism.

Quitting will help your sense of smell. That’s not a positive when you live in Paris…

If you don’t resort to booze to compensate, you’ll probably have to buy yourself a new wardrobe, a subscription to the gym, and dark sunglasses, in case you meet someone you know.

When you’ve made up your mind, don’t think, “This is my last cigarette,” because these are always the best, and this remembrance nurtures the desire to start again. And don’t believe what they say: the first ones, just after you’ve cracked down, feel even better.

Don’t forget that the lighter and cigarette pack in your pocket operate like a security blanket. Find a substitution object, like a little stuffed teddy bear. Tell your friends you’ve stayed young at heart.

Remember that you are going to save about 1,900 euros a year—just enough to cover relaxation therapy.

Not all drinkers are alcoholics. Not all smokers are nicotine addicts. But you are. (Otherwise you’d have stopped a while ago.) Remember that you are condemning yourself to absolute abstinence.

Well, it’s not such a big deal if you start again. That way you can stop again, and it’s true that it’s getting easier over time.